'Grumpy'

In class we have been looking into fairytales, myths and legends. Some of my favourites include Greek mythology - tales like 'Medea' and 'The Trojan Women'. I love how their realistic style stories contain Gods and demi-gods alike. There was such a strong beleif in the Gods in their time and they had an absolute trust in their being. For me, living in a time of many religions and theories, it's a comforting thought that everyone could be - and was - united by one idea. I also like the tales by the brothers Grimm. I prefer their stories to the likes of Disneys remakes, as they are a lot darker and almost sinister in nature. Don't get me wrong, I do like Disney films from time to time, but I feel that the stories have been glossed over and been made a bit too 'nice'.
Our weekly task had been to create a performance that had to be appox. 5 minutes and include an existing, well-known character from a fairytale/myth. We also had to include a 'twist' in the story.
I decided on performing as Grumpy the dwarf from Snow White, as everyone would know who I was. And my twist was that Grumpy had been sent to Anger management for being too grumpy, and making friends with the evil Queen:



"Hello. I'm Richard, and I am an angry person.
...I'm here because I need help with my current frustration issues.
I don't actually need help I'm completely fine!
sigh. Fine, I'll behave. If it'll get me out of this fucking place. 'Spose you want to hear what I've been up to this week. 
Well, Monday was fine. My mum rang. She told me she wanted to come up next weekend, which is completely inconvenient if you ask me. She knows how busy I am and she knows my current living situation, it's just completely inappropriate  And I told her that. I didn't get angry though. I tried that "speaking slowly and calmly thing" you suggested.. Let me tell you, complete pile of shit. She thought I was taking the piss. I told her SHE was the one taking the piss, stupid cow, then she hung up the phone. So yea, guess that went well.
Tuesday, well, I had work all day. It was shit. As per. You know I guess you do get into the digging. Helps me vent some of the anger. But you know, when you're working with a bunch of lazy idiots who don't know their left from right it's pretty hard work to just stay calm. I mean, Larry sleeps through half his shifts and he actually gets away with it, when I get tired from doing all his work - do I even get a break? Do I fuck. 
Wednesday I was working again. Told my boss what I thought of him. He took it pretty well. Just smiled and went off whistling. Cheery bastard. I don't get it. Managed to sneak off for a bit though. Got me an extra sandwich. Well, Larrys sandwich. I figure if he's gunna sleep all the time he don't exactly need it. Tasted pretty good. Not enough mustard though. 
Thursday had my morning off - stupid girl was flouncing about "tidying up". She says she's just trying to help and do something nice to say thank you. If she wants to do something nice she can piss off and leave us alone! I told her if she wants to tidy up those guys rooms, then go ahead, but leave mine, I like it how it is. She looked at me, giggled, then swanned in with a feather duster. I nearly had an asthma attack, but does she care? Does she fuck the lanky bitch, she just wants to show off cos she can reach the shelves at the top. I didn't get mad though, I just went for a walk.You said that was a good thing to try. I guess I felt a little better for it. Went left at the big tree instead this time hadn't been there before and thought - if I'm trying this crap then sod it! New me fancies an adventure. Saw this creepy looking house, went for a poke around and this giant old lady came in! Let me tell you if you think I get pissy - should have seen her face - hoo hoo haaa was she annoyed with me! Told her I had to get home to my "wife" eugh, and she was asking all questions, what does she look like, seemed quite interested, dunno why, said to go back the next day for a chat with her and she'd make brownies. I said yea of course, dashed off to work. Was a bit late, but thought sod it - I felt quite happy. Then that git came over and told me I needed to do overtime, make up for being late. He's always happy, happy to piss me off! 
Friday. Well, called in sick didn't I? That happy little bastard can do one if he thinks he can tell me what to do. So, had the day off, went to that house again. Let me tell you that old lady knows some good gossip! Said that the lanky bitch living in my house, used to live in her house! Scrounger or what! She never done nothing there apparently, just flirted with all the guards n that and bitched about that poor old lady. Turned everyone against her. And you know what, she steals as well. Yea, I know. The worst bit is, the old lady, well she didn't actually use to look all shit and disgusting, no. She was actually quite fit - showed me pictures. Anyway, worst bit - that bint had found all this magic stuff and stole all the old lady's good looks! Yea, her lips didn't use to be that nice and red, hair didn't use to be all dark and glossy and stupid and perfect. No, nicked the lot. What a bitch. Felt well sorry for this old lady. Told her if it were me, I'd be wanting to get some revenge. Yea, and not just the silly egging your house, piss in your shoe kind of revenge. I'm talking full on pain. Something really fucking good and evil, that'll get you even. She took my advise on board. I felt pretty good, like I'd really helped. Yea. Told that lady my address n said to pop round any time. Yea, nice woman. Brownies were bloody lush. She gave me another 6 to take home for the guys but I ate them all. Felt a bit sick. 
Yea then I came here again. I'll be honest, I don't think this therapy lark is helping a great deal, but you know
I am trying. Come on, next person."